Two mornings a week, I go up and down the shoreline of the peninsular Dog Park. A person can find many curious things on this rocky beach on a windy day. Mostly tampon applicators; sometimes various woods and plastics. I usually concentrate on bottles and, more importantly, what might be lodged inside them.

One day I found a large water bottle full of glittering, foily sparkles and ribbons.

Another day I found a beer bottle with a waterlogged mouse curled up inside, presumably deceased.

Earlier last spring I actually found a sealed, glass bottle with a rolled up piece of paper inside.

A message in a bottle.

I opened it up to sadly discover it was only the reprinted lyrics to the song 'Message in a Bottle.'

Buggers.

Today was different. Today I found a very old bottle. It was half buried in the thick muck where the shore gradually turns to grass. Even after rinsing it in the cold salty water the glass was filthy, clouded. I could not see inside so I shook it. There was something inside. It took me a minute to wrestle off the badly rusted cap. I held my breath and slowly turned the bottle, spilling out its contents onto the rocks.

Crap.

Just another dead genie.

Mike

It occurred to me recently that a number of the bands I have been going to see of late have been compared to XTC. Both Hot Hot Heat, whom we saw in January, and The Futureheads, whom we saw back in September and will see again in March, have been favourably compared to this Swindon band who were at their peak in the early '80s.

I remember XTC getting a lot of airplay back when my musical awareness was in its infancy; songs like 'General and Majors' and 'Taking Care of Nigel' were personal favourites of mine at the time, but unfortunately the rest of North America did not share my enthusiasm (for the most part).

This is probably due, at least in part, to the fact that singer/ songwriter/ guitarist/ band spokesman Andy Partridge developed stage fright that was so severe that the band had to permanently quit touring in 1982. When you consider, for example, that artists these days generally depend on their tour revenue as their primary means of generating revenue (think of the millions Prince made touring last year), a problem such as Partridge's can become a real CLM (career limiting move).

However, XTC's refusal to tour does not take away from the fact that they are still considered by some to be one of the greatest bands of the '80s - the big question seems to be, however: what kind of band are they? Rock? Pop? New wave? Post punk? Or does it matter?

Whatever label you put on it, this remains clear: XTC was one of the most inventive and innovative groups to come out of that time. Their music remained danceable and melodic in the face of much of the music of that time; it infused a touch of reggae, but at a breakneck tempo; Partridge's manic, yelpy vocals added yet another layer to their edgy, invigorating sound.

Most of the members of the band are still involved in the music scene in one way or another, and I think the fact that we have bands today who are borrowing heavily from XTC's sound, so many years after the fact, speaks to the sheer genius of their music.

In the mid '80s the band reinvented themselves as the psychedelic band Dukes of Stratosphere. Since then, they have had a number of North American hits, including the controversial 'Dear God' and 'The Mayor of Simpleton'.

Long live XTC!

Lezah

Well, it was to be a night of Canadian music last Wednesday down at Richard's on Richards: Boy was opening for The Marble Index and The Waking Eyes.

While tickets did not appear to be a hot commodity (only 55 sold 20 minutes after the doors opened) the club was quite crowded by 9:30 - and the natives were starting to get restless. It turns out, very disappointingly, that the lead singer for Boy had developed laryngitis. Of course, they've been touring non-stop since fall, and so it should be no surprise that he gets sick here in the middle of flu season - but it was still a big disappointment. Apparently when the announcement was made that Boy would not be playing, about 20 people immediately left the club - without even waiting to hear the headlining bands! Sounds like Boy is developing a bit of a following themselves!

The next band to come on was The Marble Index, from Winnipeg. These guys looked like they had been involved in the music scene for a while already, and one thing that impressed me about them was they really knew their instruments.

Brad Germain (guitar+vocals), Adam Knickle (drums), and Ryan Tweedle (bass) have been close friends for years. Germain had a lot of fun, and spent a fair share of his time leaping up on the speakers and rockin' down the house. Their music is reminiscent of The Smiths (who happens to be one of their stated influences) and his voice is more than a little like that of Ian McCullock of Echo and the Bunnymen, so when a fan yelled out "Slayer", the lead singer wittily replied, "Slayer? Did that guy just call for Slayer!?! Tell ya what: I can play you a bit of John Sebastian - from the Lovin' Spoonful? No? Well, how 'bout this: here's a little song we wrote about Slayer," and proceeded to play a very un-Slayer-like song. It was a fun show, but unfortunately getting very late by that time, so we had to leave early.

I plugged The Waking Eyes “Video Sound” CD into my computer so I could give it a couple of listens while I worked. First off, I found a neat little Media addition on my computer desktop with an intro video of the band, as well as media contact info. Ah, the wonders of computers. Then I gave it a couple of listens on my CD player, just in case the computer was distorting the sound, and yes it did sound better.

Winnipeg’s The Waking Eyes are not “new” on the music scene. Previously they were the bands The Pets and Novillero. They’ve released Combing the Clouds (2001) as their debut; Love and War- under the name, “The Pets” was released 2004, and now these indie darlings have have been nominated by the Juno awarding group for “Best New Band” with their latest release. The Waking Eyes “Video Sound” CD was recorded at Toronto's Arnyard Studios with producer Arnold Lanni (who also cowrote all of the songs).

The Waking Eyes is made up of Rusty Matyas (vocals, guitar), Matt Peters(vocals, guitar), Steve Senkiw (drums, vocals) and Russ Duerksen (bass) although Joey Penner is rumoured to be the new bassist. They play well together, nice and tight as a unit. As for the songs: rocker “Watch You Money” was like every other clichéd rock song out there and wasn’t my favourite listen (as opposed to many TWE’s fans) Another fan favourite is “Beginning” and again, it just didn’t “wow” me. I don’t think this recording necessarily does the band’s vocals justice. Rumours of their great live act, and this cd, just don’t jive. The fourth and fifth tracks: On a Train, and Headlights does demonstrate that they can sing, whereas the other tracks leave one wondering. Most of the tracks fall into the radio airplay time length (11 songs total 38 minutes), so they were obviously cognizant of media requirements.

The Waking Eyes do have the ability to produce a varied sound using solid power chords, classic rock riffs and hooks ala The Replacements, Golden Earring, and a bit of The Hives. Those who appreciate basic, solid rock ‘n’ roll will definitely enjoy this cd.

Christine

Portage, Wisconsin: "A woman has been arrested for allegedly digging up her dead boyfriend's ashes from a cemetery and drinking the beer that was buried with him."

Yeah... he probably would have wanted it that way.

Apparently she smoked the cigarettes he was buried with as well.

Another interesting fact, he was buried in 1992! What the hell is this? A loving tribute or a severe jones for decade-old lager? The funny thing is the beer was probably deliciously cold, what with it being six feet underground for about fourteen years.

When they put me in the dirt, I'm taking a 40 oz bottle of single malt scotch whiskey and a hand-rolled Cuban cigar with me.

And remember, if any of you come diggin', I'll haunt your ass for a million years.

Mike

If I were ever to bear a child, and this child was "differently abled" because he was born with one large eye in the middle of his head as opposed to two normal sized, evenly-spaced eyes, I think I would be happier. My mythic one-eyed offspring. Sure, I'd have to keep him under close watch for the first few years; making sure he doesn't fall or tumble and scrape that giant cornea of his, but his school years would be where my love would really shine.

Wouldn't he get teased a lot? you may ask.

No. He would not, because unlike most parents of "differently abled" children, who repeat to their child over and over again, “You're just like everyone else!”, I’d constantly remind him, “Son, you're better than everyone else. A higher being.” When the other kids did make fun of his bulbous, glassy eye, he'd always have the best responses:

-This eye can see through time.
-I can see what's in your stomach right now.
-I can see right through your poorly made clothes.
-This eye can release laser beams.
-My contact lens is worth more than your parent’s house.
-My dad owns better records than your dad.

And, inevitably, through equal doses of fear and respect, he would rule the school yard with a mighty iron fist.

My son, the cyclops.

Mike

Online Poetry is a huge fascination/obsession for internet surfers. Many sites offer contests with prizes; some merely the chance to be published in their e-zine.

I had never really thought of poetry as a “popular” forum. I know that I have written poems (admittedly predictable, melodramatic, and bad) my entire life. I also recall being thrilled with having a poem published for a radio contest for the radio’s yearbook. As it turned out, not many writers submitted articles so it wasn’t as big an achievement as I thought.

I enjoy writing and reading poetry. I enjoy poets who are able to paint an emotional picture in very few, yet well chosen, words.

I decided to go online and find out the trials and tribulations of submitting poetry online (first off - what about copyright, or poetry thieves)? A great link was: http://www.poets.org/help/wri...

They offer advice from: getting poems published, where to submit poems, the importance of researching to find forums that are similar to your writing style, which typeface to use with your submissions ie: KISS, dangers and rewards of self-publishing, and most importantly the four warning signs of publishers/ sites that will, potentially, rip you off.

Lastly, the site does recommend a link:

Poets & Writers magazine (http://www.pw.org) which is published six times a year by

Poets & Writers, Inc.,
72 Spring Street,
New York, NY
10012.

Telephone: (212) 226-3586; Fax (212) 226-3963. Subscription: $19.95/year, $38/2 years; $3.95/single copy.

Christine

A friend of mine recently sent me a published book of her poems entitled, “Life Begins at Forty”, by C.A. Keohane. As I was scanning through the lovely selections of poetry, I noticed that Catherine’s work has appeared in a variety of publications, mainly Poetry Now Wales.

The following are selections from her book that have notations of previous publication in various poetry journals:

Patches (May 1982)

Poetry Now Wales: (Sept. 1991, June 1992, “Animals Uncovered” 2002, “Those Days We Missed” 2002, “Nature’s Tapestry 2002, “Fragments of Faith” 2002, “Promises of Peace 2003, “Soulful Women 2003, “Nature’s Times 2003, “Love Within the World” 2003, “Flights of Fancy 2003, “Twilight Treasures, 2003, “Poppies in the Breeze 2003)

South Wales Echo 8th (October 1994)

First Time Magazine (Spring 1995, 2002)

The Black Rose (2002)

Nature’s Bounty (2002)

Catherine was able to publish her book of poetry with one of her winnings from the Poetry Now Wales journal, being the £500 2nd place winner of “The Top 100 Winners”. Here is her winning entry:

Departing Kiss

Death took the man from me
And stole the life
I loved dearly.
It crushed all my dreams
Like a thief in the night
It stole a priceless treasure,
And like a phantom it crept
Through the dark
And preyed upon a weak victim.
Death casts its shadow
Over me,
A black cloud
That weighs heavily upon
My shoulders.
Death is a force
I cannot defeat,
It left the ghost
Of the man I love.
Death took the man
From me,
And left its cold
trademark of an
Absent lover.
It touched me in its passing
And spoke to me in a
Cold breath;
And my man, before he
Fell asleep kissed
Me once last time.

Congratulations on your publication, Catherine. Best wishes with your next publication.

If you are interested in purchasing this 48 page book, email Catherine at catherinekeohane@hotmail.com for more details.

Christine

I removed all the shnazz and fake plastic furniture from his bowl. I did this because A) I am a lazy person and I hate cleaning that crap, and B) to see if removing anything that could possibly stimulate his tiny mind would affect his personality. It has. He's become jumpy and irritated. His name is Dr. Spock and he misses his material world.

This is not cruel.

I am trying to develop his mind.

By year’s end, he will speak.

age: 50-ish

real name: unknown

code name: Captain Campfire

Appeared at my cash register three times, in one hour, the other day. He had long, dirty, grey hair and a long, dirty, grey beard. He smelled as if he woke up not next to, but IN a campfire. His face and hands were specked with dark soot. Half of his mustache was burned down to stubble. He had many large holes in his beard that also appeared to be caused by fire. Each one of his fingertips was burned down to a pitch-black crust; he had much trouble holding his change. He wasn't unfriendly, but he did not speak. He purchased two kinds of potato chips, a litre of coffee cream and three pounds of butter.

Mike

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Ramones guitarist and founding member Johnny Ramone has passed away. It was prostate cancer. He was 55. If it were not for Johnny's highly influential guitar work, most of the bands you like today would suck even more than usual.

The man was a legend.

Recognize.

Mike

I was sent an email the other day, informing me to, "Get a life" in response to an article I had written. I am thick skinned, so the note is not a problem, however, I am a stickler of details so the email's intent was a problem.

When people say, "Get a life", why don't they explain what life they mean? They obviously have something in mind, otherwise, why say it? Get whose life? Get what life?

It is assumed that the person they are referring to has no life, so what life should they have? Perhaps a clue, a suggestion, prompt, an idea, as to what life the recipient of, "Get a life" should have. Does it involve sharp items? Are there coffee breaks? Will I be allowed to be rude?

"Get a life, Christine, preferably in construction".
"Get a life, Christine, as a cult member"
"Get a life. Christine, as a hand model" (I kinda stole that from Mike)

So all of you out there who feel you are being witty with the retort, "Get a life", please get lives as greeting card writers. That way you will be forced into a mundane, predictable world where you will always have to make your intent clear.

Christine
For more articles like this go to http://www.swanktrendz.com

-sleeping in
-resisting arrest

-writing weekly letters to those
two little Russian sweeties that kissed in their music
video. I send them my floss sometimes.

-playing
Tetris and other games in the Tetris Family (Tetris
Attacks, Tetris 3D and Tetris 2)

-taping television
documentaries about those people who chase
tornados.

-hand-stitching little leather booties
for stray cats and then luring stray cats into my
apartment with a tasty piece of trout, and fastening
the booties to their precious little paws with duct
tape so they don't ever fall off because winter is
coming.

-memorizing all the lines of the characters
Dan Fielding and Bull from the first two seasons of
the television series Night Court.

-drawing funny
faces on my bag with washable marker and then naming
the funny faces.

-I make a delicious cranberry/ham
soup. (I call it Ham 'n Cran)

-sitting on the roof
of the video store with binoculars and my graph paper,
taking stock of things I see in the parking lot: red
cars, discarded shopping carts, people in hats, single
moms (sometimes I have little conversations with the
single moms as they walk to their cars, but they can't
usually hear me because I'm way up on the roof and
it's a little windy up there sometimes)

-Chinese
Checkers

It's called a
NineBall.

It's only available at Stage Nine
(Halifax)

(unless, you know, you make it at
home.)

It's one part Jagermeister and one part
Fireball whiskey.

It's three bucks a pop.

It's
so good i woke up in a shrub by the library.

Bad Clown Names

Linty the Clown
Whiskey the Clown
Stabby the Clown
Herman the Naked Clown
Klu Klux Klown
Scabs
Death Clown
Smokey the Fire Clown
Monolithic Randall the Psychedelic Nightmare Clown
Diapers the Clown
Nibbles the Dog Beating Clown
Fingers the Clown
Needles the Clown

Blockbuster Theories: Films I'd Like to See

-There's Something About Castro
-Zombie President!
-Howard the Duck vs. Short Circuit
-Mike and Lando's Excellent Adventure
-Back to the Future 4: Vietnam
-Gay Robocop
-Breakfast at Axl's
-A Clockwork Oranger
-My Best Friend's Cannibal Wedding
-Citizen Sinbad
-Three Men and a Flying Werewolf
-Muppet Apocalypse Now
-Harry Potter and the Secrets of Menopause
-Ernest Rots in Purgatory
-Mike and Lando 2: Return to the Dagobah System
-Flying Werewolf Gump

For more of Mike’s musings, go to http://www.swanktrendz.com

Secret Yearning Number Fourteen

I wish more people would call me Sparky.

Sortie d'urgence

The only real authority figure on the train is a muscular, bald, goateed man with a strange accent. Every hour or so he swings by with a snack cart, smiling, offering coffee and sweets. DON'T BE FOOLED! Once I start eating weed infused brownies, sneaking whiskey and laughing like a jackal, this man will become a feared enemy. I hate to judge by appearance, but he seems the type who wouldn't hesitate to snap the neck of an unruly, drug addled passenger.

Stay cool. Sleep will not come easy tonight.

Mike

For more of Mike’s musings, go to http://www.swanktrendz.com

Vancouver chef Rob Feenie, he of the well-known Vancouver restaurants Lumiere, Lumiere Tasting Bar, and Feenie's, recently smoked the competition on the Food Network's Iron Chef America show. Judged by the editor of Bon Appetit magazine and two food writers, and working with the suprise ingredient (crab), Feenie turned the tables on resident chef Masaharu Morimoto, whose record of 66 wins in 75 shows made Feenie the underdog at the outset.

Michael Noble, another chef who hailed from Vancouver, is the only other Canadian to ever take part in this competition.  In 1999, he lost in a controversial decision that was awarded to Morimoto.

Rob, we luv ya - you've made Vancouver proud.

A repeat of this episode airs this Wednesday (Feb 23) at 8:00 PMT on the Food Network.

Lezah

The CD release party/food bank benefit for Vancouver Complications was held on Saturday night at the Wise Hall on Adanac Street.  Featuring performances by DOA, The Dishrags, No Fun and Rude Norton, to name but a few, it was like old-home week for the underground punk set of the late '70s.  With original vinyl pressings of the album currently selling for just under $150, the CD release has been generating a lot of press lately.

Crowd favourites appeared to be No Fun, with David M. and Paul Leahy (who still make regular appearances, playing at clubs and other locales downtown) performing their usual tight set, and The Dishrags, who gave a wild and shambolic performance and were "exactly like they used to sound", reported one surprised audience member.

Or is it the death of the death of the American dream?

Full of fear and loathing, perhaps, and in true Hemingway fashion, Hunter S. Thompson shot and killed himself Sunday at his Aspen area home. He was 67.

Thompson claimed to have searched out stories dealing with "the death of the American dream"; it has also been suggested that he, himself, was the epitome of that very subject.  The man who made "gonzo journalism" famous said that, "Objective journalism is one of the main reasons American politics has been allowed to be so corrupt for so long... You can't be objective about Nixon. How can you be objective about Clinton?"

Lezah

The Interior Design Show held at Toronto's national Trade Centre just wrapped up last weekend after a very successful four day run.  At this show, only two of the four days are open to the public as the focus is primarily on the newest and the best designs intended to inspire those involved in the trade.  Prototypes were on display, and the majority of items at the show are very high end, financially.

This weekend in Vancouver, however, we are looking at the other end of the spectrum.  At the BC Home and Garden Show, the focus is on the average homeowner who may be looking for new ideas, the person who is still operating with a DIY mindset.

Running until Feb. 27, this year's show offers a five day lecture series, and appearances from a number of well-known TV personalities.

Lezah

To see visuals and more on interior design, go to http://www.swanktrendz.com/sw...

Forget magazines, news, etc. to find out what is "swank" in the handbag/ purse industry. Go straight to the source - in this case, Stephanie, the very helpful clerk at Accessorize.

Accessorize is a chain store that only has two outlets in Canada; one in Vancouver and one in Toronto. However, it sounds like Metropolis will be opening its own store on March 22, 2005. There's not one in the state of Washington, so anyone from Seattle and Tacoma is welcome to come to 1167 Robson Street - the hub of Vancouver's trendiest shopping.

Stephanie patiently pointed out all the hottest selling bags, and they are beautiful. Beads, baubles, abalone shells, crystals, intricate embroidery abound on these handbags. The theme Stephanie related is "Kasbah" and it makes sense that these bags would be "hot" as they nicely accessorize the kurta themed outfits hitting the clothing stores. Some of the turquoise UK blue bags, that will soon be coming out, are so in demand that clerks are directed not to purchase them first. The bags are also reasonably priced, beginning at $45.00, which was surprising.

I also liked the window display showcasing the handbags, as many of the purses had earrings, bracelets, etc. draped over the bags that (of course) accessorized perfectly. Accessorize's bags were a fantastic find, as was Stephanie.

Christine

Not all trends are 'trendy' in that sense of the word, and here is a case in point: knitting.  Wire reports have been flashing around with world lately with the earth-shattering news that celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow have taken up knitting.

Associated Press out of Chicago recently reported that the craze is now spreading to boys and is sweeping the US. Grown men who work as stockbrokers and lawyers are knitting as a form of therapy following the 9/11 disasters.  Knitting clubs are starting up in schools, and wool and crochet supply shops are springing up in towns everywhere.

Soon, if we're not careful, these knit-crazy people and their suppliers will be pushing the Starbucks outlets out of our fair towns. We'll need to think up some new way to stop this hysteria - maybe something like the Prohibition of the '30s. Secret knitting clubs will be held in people's basements; contraband wool will be exchanging hands - oh, I can see it all now...

Lezah

I started hearing bits and pieces, little whisperings, about Alice Sebold's debut novel, The Lovely Bones.  The title kept popping up in conversations with such frequency that the next time I saw the book in a bookstore, I picked it up then and there and read the entire first chapter.  It was compelling, but even so, I did not buy the book and was not able to actually read it cover to cover for a few more months - but that first chapter really stuck with me.

The book opens with the narrator, Susie Salmon, a 14 year old high school student, pretty typical in most ways - except that she is dead, having recently been abducted, raped and killed by a neighbour.  She tells us her version of events from her place in Heaven, while also relating to the reader the actions of her family, the police, and the members of her community as the fruitless search for her body continues. Susie's tone is unflinchingly unsentimental as she observes the pain of those close to her, especially that of her family, which soon becomes completely altered by her loss.

We learn that in Heaven, 'life is a perpetual yesterday', and Susie soon understands that her Heaven is not the same as that of those around her - everyone's Heaven is personalized and individualized.  From this comfortable cocoon-like environment Susie is able to vicariously participate in her sister's teenage years; she comes to understand the motivations and values of her family, learning surprising things along the way about her mother, father and almost-estranged grandmother.

Susie sees the world in a completely unaffected way, and therefore understands things much more clearly, easily, and unemotionally than she would have had she still been alive.  She is also given access to her killer's actions and psyche, and meets individuals from his past who help her on the road to her own healing.

The book is very insightful about the connections between life and death; the influences that those who have left us imprint upon us forever and affect our own decisions, actions and desires. It contrasts the ordinary and extraordinary events in peoples’ lives, juxtaposing the banal with the horrific, and in doing so, helps us to understand and embrace the healing that follows the pain of loss.

I was a little let down with the end of the book, but I think part of that is because I had been lead to believe that this book would practically spell out the meaning of life and all such things... a somewhat unrealistic belief, in hindsight.

Sebold's treatment of the topics of family and violence are well-handled. For more from the same author, try her memoir Lucky, which recounts the author's own rape as a college student.  She obviously knows what she's talking about.

Lezah

What makes an individual want to post their thoughts, anonymously, for the entire “internet world” to see? Is it self absorption? Is it that he/she actually has thoughts that she/he cannot share with his/her associates? Is it that rush to see his/her thoughts published? Is it to become the ideal person he/she would truly want to be, but will never attain?

My personal blogging is a release of ridiculous observations, “I wonder...” thoughts, or simply interests that most of my friends or family do not share. Nobody around me understands my hatred for capri pants, therefore, I thank blogs and swanktrendz.com for allowing me to vent. Blogging can be lonely at times; posting 23 entries to have none of them read. But most importantly, it is a catharsis.

I have to admit, I rarely go onto other blogs because I am self-centered and it’s “all about me”. But, on occasion I will venture out and read some other blogs. Little things annoy me like punctuation and spelling, but I fall victim to that as well, so who am I to judge? (I still won’t review Eats, Shoots & Leaves for that very reason - I’m sure I’ll screw up somewhere in the article. But damn, it’s a great book!)

Now to the guts /point of this article - Blogger.com has a post http://www.sneakinout.blogspo... that for some reason, I find hilarious. It is at times irreverent, rude and crude, reflective, but also extremely creative. It makes me wonder who this person is and what he does for a living? Is he involved in anything creative outside of his blog? Will he write observations for my website? Does he think that most things in life are pointless? Has he ever written a book? Does he trust small animals? Also, how is it that this person shares many similar (unwritten) thoughts that I have?

For example, here are some of his topics:

my son the cyclops

profanity now!

i'll be your highest five

time/space

apple raisin ham steaks

the cat who cried blood

epiphany

hello, Jesus

put this on your red carpet

romantic Valentine's Day idea no.26

the awesome cleansing power of lethargy

Some of his writing includes lines like (and I promise not to edit, even if it kills me):

the sun! the warmth! the laughing children!
and i'm feeling it. i can't even walk normal; i'm doing my jaunty, beatnik-full-of-bourbon-o n-a-Sunday-morning walk.
smiling my Colgate smile.

"if Jesus appeared in my kitchen, right now, in the flesh, what would i do?" well, the first thing i'd do (after introducing myself, of course) would be to ask Him to help me do my dishes, as at the moment they are stacked rather high.

the layer of grime clinging to the inside of the shower curtain has accumulated such a thickness that it is now starting to peel off in flaps; it's own weightiness pulling it down into the water where it swirls momentarily before retreating down the drain pipe.

i botched the cork job and have been chewin' grits ever since, but goddamn that's a fine bottle of merlot. hell, Satan's even got his mug pasted on the side of the bottle. if it's notable enough for his endorsement it's certainly good enough for me.

"i don't know. is travelling backward through time to 1964 to try and hook up with Julie Andrews, get her liquored and hopefully rail her from behind noble?"

I chose his lines randomly as there are many more worth noting, but I do hate when my articles blather on too long. So my two questions to this person (and hopefully he’ll respond) are: “Do you want to do more with your writing than blogging? And of course, who are the five people you’d like to take to Hell with you and why?”

Quite a find, indeed.

Christine

Last year it was Josh, the huge black Newfoundland who stole the heart of America and walked off with the top prize; this year, the Westminster Dog Show was won by Carlee (Kan-Point's VJK Autumn Roses), a German Shorthair Pointer owned by Michelle Ostermiller.

For the first time in the show's history, both nights at Madison Square Gardens sold out. 36,000 people, including celebrities such as Glenn Close, paid to see 165 breeds vying for the top prize.

In the end it came down to a contest between Carlee, a Great Pyrenees, a Tibetan Terrier, a Pekingese, a Bloodhound, and a Border Collie.

Carlee, a 5 year old female, became only the second Shorthair Pointer to win in the 129 year history of America's most prestigious dog show.

Curiously, America's favourite breeds, the Labrador Retriever and the Golden Retriever, have never won.

Lezah

New York Fashion Week is now officially over, and the results are in - look out for the following trends in the upcoming year:

        - the new proportion is slim and cropped

        - feminine is the byword of the season

        - fabrics are rich, with real and faux fur and feathers providing texture and used for edging

        - evening wear is even richer, with satin, velvet, chiffon and taffeta everywhere

       - low-waisted, boot cut pants are out - high-rise, skinny leg trousers are in

        - flat shoes and round toed pumps are in

        - for accessories, try big graphic watches, 'real' charm bracelets, and wide belts

        - last year's huge brooches are out, replaced by clothing items with the design worked right into the fabric on the neckline, waistline and lapel; watch for jewelled, sequined and embroidered clothing

        - last year's ponchos have given way to shawls and shrugs

        - kurtas, Indian shirts, are hot.

So, there you have it - the final word...

Lezah

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Here in Vancouver we've had a big problem with leaky condominiums; the only cure for the problem (short of tearing the whole thing down and starting over from scratch) is to cover the entire building in plastic and rebuild the structure, piece by piece. My great joke, when seeing one of these enshrouded structures, has been to point and yell, "Christo!" Ah, so witty...

Well, New Yorkers these days have been echoing me, as Christo has created the latest of his massive public art projects. Entitled "The Gates", Christo's latest work is a 26 mile long temporary structure that cost $21 million to erect and is only going to be up for 16 days. "The Gates" involves a series of saffron-coloured portals lining the pathways throughout Central Park. Tourists and art-lovers alike have been flocking to Central Park to see this large scale work; "The Gates" is possibly the only work of art that has graced the front page of The New York Times.

Christo is famous for a number of his previous environmental works, including his many wrapped building projects throughout the 1960s; Running Fence (1976), a 24.5 mile long polypropylene structure in California; Surrounded Islands (1983), a group of 11 islands that were surrounded by fabric; and Umbrellas (1991), a joint Japan/California venture involving 3000 umbrellas.

Christo and his partner, wife Jean-Claude, have worked together since 1960. This current project has been in the planning stages since 1979.

Lezah

What do Paris, Halle, Angelina, and Jennifer all have in common? Hair extensions, that's what.

Although hair extensions have been around for quite awhile, there has been a recent boom in the hair extension business. Formerly reserved for the wealthy or the Hollywood elite, hair altering has become more common for the average male or female. (Although the theatrical crowd still comes to Dejavu for hair and skin maintenance.)

Dejavu International School of Cosmetology for Hair Design and Esthetics is an accredited school in Vancouver, British Columbia, founded by Madame Deloris Cross in 1979. It began with only a couple of students, but now boasts thousands of graduate students from around the world.

Dejavu is the only school in British Columbia and North America that teaches braiding, corn rows, extensions, dreadlocks, weaving, wig making, finger waves, skin therapy, barbering, men's hair styling, toupees, pedicures, manicures and professional makeup.

Now, Madame Cross is a business savvy woman having been schooled in Nursing and Hairdressing at Kings College in England; trained as a teacher; received a Bachelor of Science degree at Dudley's University, as well as obtaining many other diplomas/certificates and working in various business and commerce fields. Not only is Madame Cross the owner of Dejavu, but she micromanages every aspect of the salon. Madame Cross demands and expects the best from both her students and her salon stylists.

From what I have observed - she not only has earned their respect, but her experienced stylists live up to her expectations. The salon is often busy, but also warm and accommodating. Everyone who works at Dejavu is congenial, with personality galore.

Best of all, every client leaves with perhaps a lighter wallet, but a content, confident glow. In essence, Dejavu gives everyone that chance to be glamourous.

Check out their website at: http://www.dejavugroup.com

Christine

2005 has not been a kind year to that kind fellow, the most oft maligned member of any band, the drummer.

Consider that since Jan. 1, 2005, not only was Nickelback's drummer unceremoniously fired, but three - count 'em, three - rock legends have died, and all were drummers.

The first to go was Spencer Dryden of Jefferson Airplane, who died at age 66 on Jan. 11 of stomach cancer.  Next to go was Jim Capaldi on Jan. 28.  Jim, formerly of Traffic, died at age 60 of stomach cancer, too. More recently, on Feb. 9, Keith Knudsen of the Doobie Brothers died of pneumonia at age 56.

Sad times.

Lezah  

Designer Isaac Mizahi has recently been quoted as saying his favourite book is Shoichi Aoki's FRUiTs. FRUiTs is a coffee table book that had its genesis in a Japanese fanzine of the same name; in 1997, Aoki began taking notice of the unusual street fashions worn by Tokyo's youth.  The book FRUiTs is 200 plus pages chronicling the fashions of a radical subculture that sprang up following the crash of the Japanese economy.

FRUiTs showcases the avant garde self-expression of Tokyo's youth of today. Departing from traditional European-driven fashions, these cult images show traditional Japanese dress that has been customized in a number of different styles, including gothic Lolita, punk, cyber and decora, where toys and plastic accoutrements are added to create both a visual and aural effect.  This is all set against a backdrop of stores such as The Gap, illustrating the inescapable effect of the global mass market.

The fanzine and book have resulted in a number of international art exhibits for Aoki, including one exhibit currently showing at the Dunedin Public Art Gallery in New Zealand.

Aoki's follow-up book, soon to be released, has been entitled, Fresh Fruit.

Lezah  

Every February 14th I cringe when I see the Valentine products emerge: hearts, candies, chocolates, teddy bears, flowers, cards, etc. Not that I am against Valentine’s Day - quite the opposite, I agree with the premise behind the day.

However, Valentine’s Day, in itself, means absolutely nothing to me. Why would I celebrate a Saint who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity, and what has that to do with love? The date holds no cherished memory, anniversary, or need to express my love to my better half. But I do celebrate Valentine’s Day. Rather than feed into the cash grab of commercialism, I buy a simple Valentine’s card and put it aside.

My better half and I celebrated our first date on May 12th. To me, this date represented the blossoming of a relationship - the giddiness of knowing that perhaps he was the “one”. I recall the torrid first year of love, and lust, and the feeling that I met my soulmate. Indeed he was, as I am still with him.

So, on May 12th, my hubby and I exchange Valentine cards, go out to a restaurant that is usually not booked solid, and exchange gifts that have not been financially inflated. Last, but not least, we thank each other for yet another exquisite Valentine’s Day.

Christine

Last night Dave and I attended Ballet BC's production of Twyla Tharpe's Nine Sinatra Songs. Also on the program for the evening were Conversation Piece, Tema Celesta, and a/way inside.

I always enjoy attending the ballet with Dave as we have such wildly opposing views as to what constitutes good dance.  I'm the first one to admit; I've got a thing for tutus, and am all about the story, whereas for him it's more about the form and the movement.  So, between what we saw last night and our discussion on the way home, it proved to be an interesting evening.

In Mark Godden's 'Conversation Piece', Stephana Arnold, Jones Henry and Simone Orlanda danced a story of love, betrayal and loss; adding to the cast were four anonymous dancers in the background who represented gossipy members of the above three's social circle.  In this, "the work reveals that people who chastise or persecute others often have their own dark secrets and run from their moral problems by accusing others." (As noted in the programme.)  With choreography by Mark Godden, music by Beethoven (Piano Concerto No. 5, Movements 1 & 2) and costumes by Paul Daigle, this dance was the most plot centred, albeit in a very non-linear way.

Following the first intermission were two shorter pieces.  Tema Celesta, with choreography by Jean Grand-Maitre, and music by Thomas Tallis (sung by The Tallis Scholars), was danced by Simone Orlando, Makaila Wallace, Chris Hannon and Donald Sales.  With rapid pacing juxtaposed with moments of stillness, the dance creatively "utilizes sculptural components of the body." Physically challenging to the point that the dancers' chests were heaving noticeably by the end of the performance, both Tema Celesta and the following dance, called a/way inside, took the dancers near to the end of their physical limitations.  a/way inside is 'based on an improvisational session by Dominique Dumais and Martino Muller in Paris', 1998; the music is by Bach.  These two were Dave's favourites, being basically all about movement.

After the second intermission came the piece that most of the audience members had come to see, Nine Sinatra Songs.  With a huge disco ball and gowns by Oscar de la Renta, this piece, first danced in 1982, is certainly evocative of its era.  It was an interesting, if not contradictory, piece in a number of ways.  Described as "seven duets and two group sections - one for the first three couples and another for all seven couples - each with its own musical and dance/theatre character", we first heard Sinatra's Softly As I Leave You, followed by Strangers in the Night and One For My Baby (and One More For the Road).

For each of the first three numbers, a different couple would come out and dance; their dance would be thematically linked with their dress.  For the fourth song, My Way, all three couples came out and danced again, retaining their first song's costumes and dance; this was somewhat awkward and disjointed, however, as the three couples - despite dancing to the same song - almost seemed lost or almost alone on the large stage.  Next was Somethin' Stupid, danced in a very light-hearted, comical way, then All the Way and Forget Domani completed the seventh selections.

By far the most impressive, however was Acacia Schacte and Edmond Kilpatrick dancing That's Life, where they appear to use sex as a weapon to make their point.  Finally, all seven couples returned to dance once again to My Way, which worked much better with more couples on the floor, and was far less diffusive.

Nine Sinatra Songs involves almost every couple performing a move whereby the woman swings up and across the men's backs, and this was sometimes done very awkwardly.  Beyond that, however, this piece was by far the crowd favourite.

I have never been a huge fan of Sinatra music, but when Dave pointed out that Sinatra was very revolutionary and in many ways changed the music of his time by creating a more relaxed style in which he's almost talking to you, as opposed to the very mannered style that was popular, I had to concede his point.

So, if you're interested: Nine Sinatra Songs, at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre until Feb. 12/05.

Lezah  

Twenty-six years after his death, the music of Bob Marley still lives on.  On Sunday, Rastafarians in Addis Ababa danced and waved flags to commemorate what would have been the sixtieth birthday of the reggae legend.

 Controversy has broken out, however, with the announcement that Marley's widow, Rita, plans to have Marley's remains removed from his lifelong home, Jamaica, and reburied in Ethiopia, the place she refers to as his 'spiritual home'.

Lezah

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Childstar is a film-within-a-film that offers commentary on the artificiality, illusion and disillusion of the Hollywood movie machine.Don McKellar, actor and co-writer of Highway 61, Roadkill and Thirty-two Short Films About Glenn Gould (to name just a few) co-writes, directs and acts in this satirical comedy/drama.

 Set in Toronto with Los Angeles playing a supporting role, the film deals with the themes of alienation, family and individuality while at the same time delving into social issues connected to the entertainment industry, specifically those of child stars - America's 'sacrificial lambs' - and the symbiotic relationship of the Canada/US movie industry.

Inspired both by a meeting with a child star in the film industry and a line from a Ron Sexsmith song on the topic of child stars ("they loved somebody that wasn't you"), the film explores a personal observation of McKellar's, in which he notes that the whole child star phenomenon is understood by the general public as a situation in which child stars lose their childhoods; McKellar instead believes that "...it's their adulthood they never get.  They were arrested in adolescence," and therefore are never able to progress to that next stage in their lives.

In the film, McKellar plays Rick, a former university film professor turned independent movie producer/limo driver; his first job as driver finds him chauffeuring Taylor Brandon Burns (Mark Rendall), a twelve year old Macaulay Culkin-like metaphor for the excesses of Hollywood's image-making machine and his stage mother, Suzanne (Jennifer Jason Leigh).  Within a very short time, Rick adds the roles of tutor, Suzanne's lover, Taylor's legal guardian and father figure to his CV.  Following a night of excess, Taylor doesn't show up on the set mid-shoot, and Rick is left to sort out the mess.

The ensemble cast is further filled out by Brendan Fehr, playing Chip, a former child actor attempting to resurrect his career after spending time in rehab and other unsavoury places; Dave Foley, who is wonderful as Phil, the heartless producer; and Alan Thicke, in a Growing Pains-type role. Kristin Adams plays Natalie, the woman who attempts to introduce Taylor to the pleasures of the flesh.
Music for the film was done by a name well-known in the Canadian TV and movie business, Christopher Dedrick, formerly of the sixties pop group The Free Design.  Interestingly, the character of Brandon's biological father is also in a band, and the members of his band are played by three members of the well-loved Canadian band Sloan.

With a sharp humour and self deprecating tone, this film deserves better reviews than it will probably get - the backhanded compliment, 'It's actually good - for a Canadian film' - is one we heard on the way out of the theatre.

Lezah

Chachkas - “Shopping for urban sensibilities” the heading of Chachkas' website. What a great summation. This shop is unique, hip, trendy, and although small in square footage, one could spend hours in there, browsing.

When I walked into the store, it was visual bliss. So much to see and take in = sensory overload. Unusual presents for the person who is impossible to buy for, plus the cache of the store label (translated, a present from Chachkas does not make for a cheap gift.)

What struck me most was the beautiful handbags. In particular, Cover b, a handbag line from Berlin. These handbags have the most exquisite linear designs I've seen in a long time. One style is curved inward like the letter "C", and has a airline seatbelt releaser type snap, that opens and closes it. Chachkas has an online store and I would suggest you check it out asap. Vancouver trends at their best. http://www.chachkas.ca/" title="http://www.chachkas.ca/" target="_blank"http://www.chachkas.ca/

Christine

Valentine's day is just a week away, and at this time of year, many people's minds turn to those old standbys, candy and chocolate.  It's kind of hard not to, with all the store and magazine displays around these days that are featuring, in particular, chocolate.

Here in North America, milk chocolate has long been the favourite, but my own tastes happen to run more with those of Europeans, who prefer dark chocolate.  In the US, by law, dark chocolate must contain at least 35 percent cacao; not only is it richer in flavour, it's also lower in calories.  Gotta love it!

A few places to try for great chocolate and candy in the Vancouver area are:

- Rocky Mountain Chocolates on Robson Street, who have some of the most eye and tastebud appealing displays.

- Lee's Fine Old Time Candies on West 10th.  This vintage candy shop is owned and operated by Valeria Finnegan, former drummer for the legendary band Cub.  She keeps costs down by using that old punk DIY ethic, and still manages to offer a quality product. In many ways, the store is like stepping back in time, as little about the store or its products have changed since the original owner opened the store in 1950.

- Brussels Chocolates - in many locations throughout the Lower Mainland, they are one of the few chains out there that still offer dark chocolate hedgehogs (my personal fave!).  Try the factory outlet on Terminal Avenue for the best prices.

- at Starbucks these days, serious chocaholics can get a fix of pure drinking chocolate.  Called Chantico, this incredibly rich drink is what Starbucks calls a 'drinkable dessert'. Try it next time you're in - priced at $2.95.

- Haute Chocolate on Marine Drive in West Van. is a new store that is pairing two favourites - chocolate and alcohol.  Wine reductions and ice wine emulsions are incorporated into chocolate creations.  Or, if you'd rather keep things separate, try attending a Thursday night soiree sampling, where you can drink whatever you prefer - beer, wine, vodka - while sampling various chocolate offerings.  Sounds heavenly...

Lezah

Two Vancouver authors, Charles Montgomery and Patrick Lane, have been nominated for the Charles Taylor Prize for Literary Non-Fiction.  Two other Canadian authors were also nominated for the $25,000 prize.

Montgomery's book The Last Heathen:  Encounters With Ghosts and Ancestors in Melanesia, mixes mythology, the South Pacific, and faith with today's society.  Patrick Lane's book is entitled, There is a Season:  A Memoir in a Garden. The four nominees were whittled down from the 96 books that were originally entered in the competition.

Prizes will be awarded Feb. 28.

Lezah

You, too, can go see U2 - if you want to shell out anywhere from $49.50 to $165 for a ticket, that is.  But, if you're a die-hard fan, the April 28 Vancouver concert might be your only chance, if you live in Western Canada.  Apparently this particular show is the only Canadian date on the U2 tour, which starts March 28 in San Diego.

This Irish band was great way back when (think Boy); today, lead singer Bono is currently one of Oprah's favourite people due to his humanitarian efforts.  The band will be touring in support of their latest album, How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.  Tickets go on sale 9:30 am, Feb. 5 (www.ticketmaster.com).

Lezah

Claudia Beck and Andrew Gruff (former owners of the Nova Gallery) contributed over three decades worth of collected photographic images to the Vancouver Art Gallery. VAG curator, Grant Arnold, selected the images for the showing of Real Pictures and organized them into categories for seamless viewing.

As with any exhibition, the works can become overwhelming and eventually draining. However, there were many standouts that made me view, analyze and reflect.

First of all, my interest was directed towards the mediums used for the images. The variety of materials included salted paper, calotype, silver albumen print, Azo dye print, photogravure, heligraphique, silver gelatin print and cyanotype. The most common appeared to be the silver gelatin and silver albumen. In all, a quick history of photographic mediums.

Many images made an impression on me so I will try to be relatively succinct:

Great Cedar Tree - Stanley Park, 1897, by William Mcfarlan Notman. Although this is a well known photo, I enjoyed the composition the most; the use of rule of thirds, the unique framing of the subject, and emotionally, the majestic old growth tree.

Moon and Half Dome, 1960, by Ansel Adams. Adams was truly a master of evoking mood through the use of light.

Cathedral deChartles portique du midi, 1857, by Charles Négre. Clinically, it is a sound composition with amazing details and good eyeflow. It also had a wonderful contrast between the immense cathedral and the inconsequential house beside it.

Weegee, 1940’s, by Arthur Fellig. Wonderful images that captured humanity at its core. Visions of despair and normalcy with an none manipulated or staged appearance.

London, 1951, by Robert Frank. The ultimate English stereotype - repression, fog, businessmen, grim faced with top hats and bowlers. Everyone appearing rigid against the fluid background. Beautiful. Robert Frank also caught my eye with his Los Angeles, 1955-56, photo as his linear lines are as evocative as his subjects. Where was this taken? Who are these people? I needed to know more.

Centennial Ball at the Metropolitan Museum, 1969, by Gary Winogrand, and Beauty Contest ,1960’s, by Tony Ray-Jones. Both these photos were interesting in that they memorialized women as they once were - beautiful creatures to be surrounded by elderly, commanding men. A time when looks were a woman’s best asset (followed by cooking, of course).

My favourites were Vishniac’s photographs of Lublin, Romania and Warsaw, 1935-1939. How poignant to see his subjects going about their daily business, knowing that in ten years everything would be altered. Definitely photos worth revisiting.

The most disappointing photos were the First Nations/ aboriginal images as the subjects were unknown, the dates were unknown and the photographers, unknown.

Overall, this is an eclectic groups of photos - not all of them outstanding, but definitely thought provoking. I especially enjoyed the thick cloth that covered the more fragile photos. It made one feel as though one was lifting a curtain and peering through a window at the past, but it was a bit insulting to be faced with printed instructions to “lift cover”.

Christine

Skiing and snowboarding - it's that time of year, although the weather hasn't been too cooperative in these parts lately!  There are still plenty of places where one can go to hit the slopes, but it's as much about looking good as it is about being good at what you do these days...

Here's what's in:

         - for boarders, who definitely don't want to look like skiers, the whole grunge thing is now very yesterday.  Today's silhouette is much slimmer, and while black is still the number one selling colour, earthtones, white, and even hot colours like pink and orange are popular with both sexes.  Matching pants and jackets, previously a big 'no-no' with boarders, have now been deemed acceptable.  Camouflage is selling well this year, as are retro looks.  For under the jackets, funky knit sweaters or plaid is replacing polar fleece.  Ski hills are reporting that about 50% of boarders now don helmets rather than the funky headgear boarders were previously known for.  But basically, if you're not wearing a helmet, the rule is:  anything goes.

         - for skiers, retro graphics, vintage colours and prints are popular.Bolle has create the 'Simmer' goggle which has been downsized for the dimensions of a woman's face - finally!  Off the slopes, Mukluks have replaced last year's Uggs as the footwear of choice - and that goes whether you're at the chateau or in downtown Manhattan.

        - Atomic has created a line of skis with mix and match graphics, while the new big thing this year is twin-tip skis (both the front and backs are turned up for landing forward or backward off a jump - not for the faint of heart!).  Prices range from $300 to $799 US.

        - finally, it doesn't matter whether you're a boarder or skier - the accessory of choice this year is the iPod - but it must be built into your jacket, with the controls in the arms.

        - for fall 2005, Motorola plans to unveil a ski jacket complete with built-in cell phone and MP3 player.

Stay tuned for more...

Lezah