Sashi's Home

A little bit here, a little bit there by Sashi

A couple of things on this noggin’ of mine to be cleared out:

American Idol

Last night’s show is probably one of my favourite Idol shows among the whole lot. Great songs, performed well - even Kellie Pickler’s mistakes didn’t really sound that bad.

Of course, the contestant I thought would leave last week has left now. Good riddance - I don’t think the person would have made a great American Idol.

Test of Machiavellianism

Take the Machiavelli personality test.

The Machiavelli personality test has a range of 0-100

your Machiavelli score is: 72

You are a high Mach, you endorse Machiavelli’s opinions.

Most people fall somewhere in the middle, but there’s a significant minority at either extreme.

Google API

This Google Codesection is a very cool place. Lots of stuff to play with.

And you know what? This whole AJAX thing isn’t really that hard, once you figure out the general framework. Easy ha!

Well, till the cows come home - ciao!

Sashi's Home

Meme: Must read magazines and websites By Sashi

Got tagged by David.

Since all bloggers have taken the Blogaritic Oath*, it is thus my duty to do this meme. What’s a meme?

Must read monthly magazines

Magazines? People still read magazines? As in the print versions?

< Not me - unless you count the >Astro. mag, which I only refer to, to check for football telecasts.

Also, my family’s been subscribing to

Reader’s Digest forever, so I guess that falls in this category.

Although I wouldn’t call it ‘must-read’ - I mean, if we stopped subscribing, I wouldn’t go out to buy it, you know? It just so happens that it’s just lying around, and since I’ll read anything if I’m bored…

Optional monthly magazines

Err… well, I do buy FHM once a year - for the calendars. Does that count?

Other than that…. nothing else, really.

Should I be worried? Am I spiraling down the path to iliteracy?? Dammit, I can’t even spell illeteracy!

NOOOOOOO!!!

Swanktrendz Thrown in just because I am an autor there...

Must read daily websites

The Star(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

Soccernet

BBC News

The Guardian (I don’t know why I read mostly British newspapers… guess old habits die hard... )

Britney Spears Fan Club. Hah! GOTCHA!

Slashdot.

Digg.

Project Petaling Street. Where the unruly rule.

Liverpool FC Yup, yup.

PHP.ne/ The PHP programmer’s best friend.

A List Apart

Rotten Tomatoes

/IMDB …

I could go on and on and on and on and on. And on.

I’m supposed to tag people now. I’ll tag…. *cough* *cough*

… I mean... *cough* *cough* *cough* *COUGH*

… I’m … *cough* *cough* *cough* *cough* tagging…

*cough* *cough*…. *choke* *choke*….

… r..o..s…e……bud… *erk*

* What? You have never heard of the Blogaritic Oath? Which blogging college** did you go to?

** What do you mean WHAT COLLEGE??!

Rob’s Home

http://emptybeach.typepad.com... I’m Through With Horror (Maybe): By Rob Williams

Yesterday, went to see "Silent Hill"

(I'm sure you all know by now of my closet obsession with horror films)--the new supposedly scary movie starring (actually does anyone even know who these actors are? Outside of folks who care) Radha Mitchell, Deborah Kara Unger and Alice Krige. From the previews it looked as if it were about a young mother who is trying to find her daughter in this old, deserted mining town. Deserted because of underground mine fires that have been burning for 30 years.

The previews had looked so creepy, with vivid imagery-- fog, ashes raining down, the mutant-looking creatures attacking Rhada in a dark room when she flicks on her lighter, deserted-apocalyptic ghost town.

Well, as I've discovered with most scary movies lately-- the previews are the best thing about the film. This film was NOT scary. It did not disturb me-- well, not true, I was disturbed at how lame it was. I mean, the images, yes, were incredible-- the film was beautifully shot-- but the story? Where was it? What was it? I had no idea what was going on, and I wonder if the director didn't know either.

The film was based on a video game, and maybe that's the problem? (I also couldn't stand 'Stay Alive' and that was based on a video game).

What is up with Hollywood? Why can't someone come out with a truly scary, well made film? When is the next 'Silence of the Lambs' coming out? I mean a film as truly terrifying as Silence. And don't tell me the Saw films were anything like Silence. I 'saw' them. They weren't. They were somewhat creepy. but not scary. The Grudge? it was slightly scary. -The Ring? - that one just about got to me (though again, what the hell was going on? A ghost made a video tape?.) Ring 2-- oof, what a mess. I won't even go into the Fog. When a Stranger Calls had its moments, but it was made for the ‘tween’ set, so it was pretty tame. The Hills Have Eyes-- was relentless, but I wasn't ever scared, really. Final Destination (1-3)-- fun, not scary.

Ughhh.

When I go to horror movies, I like to be on the edge of my seat, to feel it in my gut-- the terror, to not want to get up from my seat to use the bathroom even though i'm about to burst from the 30 ounce Coke I've just gulped down. I like to worry about who's sitting behind me. I like to be afraid all the way back to my car in the parking lot, and on the drive home, looking in my rear-view mirror to see if anyone's slipped into my car while I was in the theater.

I'm disappointed, Hollywood.

(If anyone has recommendations for some truly terrifying films-- or know of some coming out in the near future-- feel free to comment.)

Mike’s Home

Pimp My Cherished Tale of Whimsy

I believe we are living in a progressive culture. New generations are growing more and more accepting of different lifestyles and foreign ideals, which is really fantastic.

Jump into the melting pot, baby!

Sure there's still some grey areas.

Some touchy subjects.

Some fanatics. Some unbelievers.

But we can fix that.

Hell, I can fix that.

And I'll do it by creating something that's instantly appealing to every single person on our great green Earth..

I'll start by using the "something old/ something new" formula..

I'm going to take Charles Dickens' 'A Christmas Carol' and I'm going to Inject it with a heavy dose of Here and Now.

First, it'll come out in mid-August.

No seasonal discrimination here.

Second, I'm going to ethnic-up all the main characters.

That way everyone will have someone to relate to, no matter who they are.

The lead character will be Lebaneser Scrooge.

Bob Cratchit will be a blind Inuit whale hunter, whose son will be Tiny Tim, a recovering alcoholic midget with severe vertigo, who is also a Mexican substitute teacher.

Jacob Marley will be Rastafarian. (Marley. get it?)

Our story will be set in Scotland and ancient Egypt. Ancient Egypt with a Harlem-in-the-80's edge.

And we can't use Christmas because that's too inclusive, so it'll have to be Pancake Tuesday.

The ghosts of Pancake Tuesday past, present and future will be portrayed by a sleazy, coke-addled record exec, a Marxist hooker with a heart of gold and that Asian kid with all the gadgets from Goonies, respectively.

The rest of the cast will be filled out with animatronic Hobbits wielding Light Sabres, some paraplegic Mafia guys with hearts of gold, and Christopher Lloyd, who will be playing a bisexual Native American ninja-dentist from New Zealand.

See, that's everyone.

We're all the same.

Heal the world.

And the soundtrack will follow the same asthetic.

It will be recorded by Trans-Phat, a Polish duo of post-op transgendered wunderkinds who are divorced and might also be brother and sister. but are definently old school/ garage rock/ neo-folk/electroclash/ battle rappers. They do ultra modern re imaginings of old holiday standards so they can be enjoyed by everyone.

'Silver Bells' is now called 'Welcome to the Slut Machine'.

And the message of our tale?

The underlying theme we're trying to express to the world?

CHILL THE FUCK OUT.

Who care?.

Let's put our centuries of rubbish behind us.

Let's fire our stupid little petty differences into the Sun.

Let's just, you know, hang out.

Maybe go down to the park.

Rough up some illiterates.

Mike’s Home

sumer is icumen in

I don't know who's party that was.

I don't' know what street it was on.

I don't know who any of those people were.

I don't know where all that liquor kept coming from.

All I did know was that it was almost sunrise and I felt like the fucking Wicker Man; half on fire, surrounded by Pagans, with a frantic British detective being burned alive in my stomach.

Yay Springtime.

"How do you slice your thumb, opening a bottle of wine?"

"Sorry, the sun was in my eyes."

Mike’s Home

Appetite for a Luncheon By: Mike Gillis

Hi! welcome to Appetite for a Luncheon; downtown's premier G 'n R themed eatery!

Come in, pull up a stool, whiff an empty bottle at a stripper, and choose one of our mouth watering lunchtime combos, such as:

- Paradise Chili

- Sweet 'n Sour Child 'o Mine

- Rice Train

- Garden of Eatin' (our 20 ft. salad bar!)

- Live and Let Pie

- It's So Greasy

- Yesterday’s (leftovers)

- Oreganovember Rain

- Get in the Shrimp Ring

- You Could Be Minestrone

"Excuse me, waiter? What's the special today?"

"That would be the Spaghetti Incident meal deal."

"Ummm. no."

Andrew’s Home

10 simple pleasures

Idea stolen from A Stark Place. Listed in no particular order.

1. Drinking hot tea. Especially when it's cold. Sitting on the futon, holding a porcelain cup of tea in my hands, feeling the warmth. Too hot to drink, holding it just below my nose, breathing in the moisture and the flavour of it. Tea has an aroma, but it's very subtle and it's only there if you look for it.

2. Reading a good novel. Good meaning something which is interesting and easy to read, but at the same time something which makes me think about it.

3. Walking with dogs. When I lived in the cabin last summer, I'd often go for walks and the landlord's dogs would follow. I love dogs. The next time I move I should choose a house or apartment which allows pets.

4. Looking at art. And taking the time to think about what it means.

5. Talking one on one with someone. I love communicating with just one other person. If a third person comes along, it always seems that they seem to take over the conversation, and I'm left sitting there quietly by myself. But one on one, especially with someone I'm comfortable with, the words seem to pour out of me.

6. Going to see movies with someone who doesn't talk through them. There's a certain intimate feel to being there, enjoying a movie in someone's company, without saying a word.

7. Walking and taking pictures. When I walk, whether it be in the city or the wilderness, I feel compelled to take a camera with me and photograph the silliest little things. Like the droplets of dew on a spider-web, or the texture of bricks, or doing long exposures at intersections in the twilight.

8. Preparing food. I hardly ever buy prepared, packaged food. Only at lunch at work, when I have no time, and even then I've been trying to avoid that kind of food. Instead, in the evening, I don't mind taking an hour or two to make dinner. I like chopping vegetable, stirring sauces, making soups and pastas and curries. Lately I've been experimenting more and more with the cuisines of some of my favourite places I've traveled to, like Southern Asia, Mediterranean Europe and the Central Andes. And I almost never make food which requires salt to make it taste good -- if it's that bland, it's not worth eating.

9. Listening to the overnight world broadcasts on CBC Radio. Late at night CBC plays shows from other public radio broadcasters around the world. I love listening to it and hearing things from a different perspective, with different accents. They play a different selection every night, usually with a little of something from each continent.

10. Burning incense. And just laying on the futon, inhaling it, dreaming of all the places I've been and the people I've known. To me, meeting new people, interacting with them, and seeing and experiencing new places and things, are the most important things in the world.

Andrew’s Home

It's about time I did this. p/

I need business cards. When I go to shows, festivals and other events, there's always people who ask for them. So here's three quick designs. Please, people, tell me what you think. I've kept the information to a minimum, so that if I move, they'll still be good. The first is sort of a design on this page. The second, styled after local artist Owen Williams' card, is very clean and minimal (and in fact looks like a lot of the ads I design) and the third is based on a booklet I designed in 1998 (which in turn was based on the works of Piet Mondrian).

Oh and that third domain, www.largerthanlife.ca, I own it, though there isn't anything there yet. Let me know at: hoshkiw AT gmail DOT com

Heretic’s Home

9th Circuit Court Opinion on Anti-Gay T-Shirt Ban

The three-judge panel for the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals voted 2-1 to uphold Poway Unified School District's decision to ban an anti-gay T-shirt worn by s sophomore on the day of and day following the "Day of Silence," a day gay student rights groups use to call attention to the social isolation many gays feel in the schools and society at large.

Student Tyler Chase Harper wrote a T-Shirt with the statement "BE ASHAMED,OUR SCHOOL HAS EMBRACED WHAT GOD HAS CONDEMNED" handwritten on the front and 'HOMOSEXUALITY IS SHAMEFUL" written on the back. He was advised by the teacher to remove the shirt and eventually was sent to the principal's office and was confronted by three administrators (three apparitions Scrooge?).

Assistant Principal Atrim reportedly told Harper that his shirt "was inflammatory under the circumstances and could cause disruption in the educational setting" and in her affidavit, claimed to suggest several ways he could positively reflect his values without the condemnation explicitly stated on his shirt. Ed Giles, another assistant principal, reportedly told the sophomore that he shared in the same Christian faith and suggested that Harper "consider other alternatives that would be more positive and nonconfrontational." Principal Scott Fisher ultimately banned Harper from wearing the t-shirt because the school had a reason to "avoid [the] physical conflict." He said it statement was derogatory and hurts gay students.

Master Harper says his First Amendment right to free speech and religious expression were improperly denied but the two-justice majority disagreed. School administrators must balance, it argues, between any individual students' right to free speech with the physical and psychological safety of the other students on campus: "Public school students who may be injured by verbal assaults on the basis of a core identifying characteristic such as race, religion, or sexual orientation, have a right to be free from such attacks while on school campuses. As Tinker clearly states, students have the right to “be secure and to be let alone.” Id. Being secure involves not only freedom from physical assaults but from psychological attacks that cause young people to question their self-worth and their rightful place in society.

To which dissenting Circuit Judge Kozinski said that the school forfeited any such claim to protect the student's "right to be let alone" and free of "verbal assaults" (vaguely idenfitied) when it participated in the "Day of Silence" promoted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) and the gay-straight alliance. "The record reveals quite clearly that Harper’s t-shirt was not an out-of-the-blue affront to fellow students who were minding their own business. Rather, Harper wore his t-shirt in response to the Day of Silence, a political activity that was sponsored or at the very least tolerated by school authorities

The Day of Silence is a protest sponsored by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). According to a GLSEN press release, the Day of Silence is “an annual, national student-led effort in which participants take a vow of silence to peacefully protest the discrimination and harassment faced by lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) youth in schools.” Press Release, GLSEN, A New Record for the Day of Silence (Apr. 14, 2004), available at http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/...

The point of this protest, as I understand it, is to promote tolerance toward all students, regardless of their sexual orientation. Tolerance is a civic virtue, but not one practised by all members of our society toward all others. This may be unfortunate, but it is a reality we must accept in a pluralistic society. Specifically, tolerance toward homosexuality and homosexual conduct is anathema to those who believe that intimate relations among people of the same sex are immoral or sinful. So long as the subject is kept out of the school environment, these differences of opinion need not clash. But a visible and highly publicized political action by those on one side of the issue will provoke those on the other side to express a different point of view, if only to avoid the implication that they agree.

I find it far more problematic—and more than a little ironic—to try to solve the problem of violent confrontations by gagging only those who oppose the Day of Silence and the point of view it represents. Or, as Judge Rosen put it in Hansen v. Ann Arbor Public Schools, 293 F. Supp. 2d 780 (E.D. Mich. 2003), “[t]hat Defendants can say with apparent sincerity that they were advancing the goal of promoting ‘acceptance and tolerance for minority points of view’ by their demonstrated intolerance for a viewpoint that was not consistent with their own is hardly worthy of serious comment.”"

I find it significant, moreover, that Harper did not thrust his view of homosexuality into the school environment as part of a campaign to demean or embarrass other students. Rather, he was responding to public statements made by others with whom he disagreed. Whatever one might think are the psychological effects of unprovoked demeaning statements by one student against another, the effects may be quite different when they are part of a political give-and-take.

... and give me an eyeful of your Ginger Nuts!!

Becks & Posh Jam Faced are joining forces to celebrate the day that no one ever celebrates and we would love for everyone else to join us. St George's Day is the English National Day. Yes, really, the English do have one.

-It's not a day off work.

-Hardly anyone wears a red rose in their lapel.

-And you would be hard pushed to find an Englishman, or woman, who can even recall its date which is April 23rd!

Together we are attempting to change that and put St George's Day firmly on the world's culinary map, with a celebration of English 'afters'.

We are inviting everyone [that's YOU] to join us with in this blogging event and make any English Dessert or Cake or Biscuits or Pud or Sweets and post about it on St George's day, Sunday April 23rd.

Swanktrendz would be please to publish the St. George recipes if sent to editors at swanktrendz.com)

Afters, pud, pudding, biscuits, sweets - all words that the English might use to describe what they refer to as desserts, candies and cookies in other parts of the world.

We may have to take a lot of stick about British food

in general, but I have never heard anyone complain about our pud. It sure can be good.

To join in, all you have to do is make something sweet and English and post about it on your blog (or submit to Swanktrendz) on Sunday April 23rd. You could include photographs, recipes, history or stories about the dessert, the choice is yours. Read the full entry guidelines here

which includes details about where to send your post in order to be included in the roundup. (Remember to add the editors at swanktrendz.com to that list!)

English puddings - oh yes - this is going to be more than yummy!

A few ideas to get you started:

Clotted Cream Fudge | Summer Pudding | Eccles Cakes| Bakewell Tart | Sticky Toffee Pudding | Syllabub | Gooseberry Fool | Jaffa Cakes | Trifle | Jam Roly Poly | Junket | Spotted Dick | Scones | Fairy Cakes | Victoria Sandwich | Banoffi Pie | Mince Pies | Rhubarb Crumble & Custard | Rock Cakes | Butterfly Cakes | Bread & Butter Pudding | Chester Cake | Queen of Puddings | Treacle Tart | Eton Mess | Apple Charlotte | English Toffee | Simnel Cakes | Posset | Chelsea buns | Bath buns | Lardy Cake | Banbury Cake | Cornish Fairings | Poor Knights of Windsor | Parkin | Easter Biscuits | Angel Delight | Manchester Tart | Mars Bar Cake |

Looking for English Recipes:

Blog Favourite Anna | Baking for Britain

The Green Chronicle |British Recipes

Cooking by Country

|England

Search for English Recipes |

Waitrose.com

En Francais

|Cookies, Muffins & Co

de Pascale

More About St George's Day:

The Value of St George's Day

Garry Bushell's Opinion

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I'm sitting outside the steps of the movie theater, rolling up the legs of my acid wash jeans and before I know it, my best friend Sloane is standing next to me.  <--note the >present tense. But what happens if, directly following the above sentence I want to tell an anecdote (or flashback) about Sloane and do something like this:

I first met Sloane when we both worked at Der Wienerschnitzel in the Mall. We had this thing where we would punish the customers who were rude to us, for example, if they yelled at us in the drive-through, or complained that their food was taking too long. We would add little surprises to their meal; not anything that they would particularly notice but a pubic hair here and there in their chili cheese dog, a fingernail clipping in their guacamole burger...

p/

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Well, I got some comps for a Korean Dance festival, and to be honest, I was kind of picturing a local dance recital type of thing, with a bunch of little girls leaped about to a variety of hip-hop recordings -but boy, was I wrong. If I had used my noggin, I might have noticed that the tickets for the section I was sitting in were $30 each (again, for me, they were free, so this fact I overlooked), and the event was being held at the Bell Centre for the Performing Arts, which houses quite a few people. But it wasn't until we arrived and saw the jam-packed parking lot that the truth of the matter sunk in: this was a big deal.

Anyway, the event, officially entitled 'Korean Dance Festival', was attended by numerous dignitaries, government representatives, and others. The dancers came from two different groups - one directly from Korea, and a group from the Vancouver area. It turns out that this performance was the 10th anniversary of the first performance of the Vancouver's Korean Dance School under the directorship of Hye Seoung Chung, who also choreographed a number of the newer pieces.

The two hour long program (including intermission) was a showcase of Korean dance, which "in its grativy, its fluid elegance, reflects the breadth and depth of 5000 years of history", and involved both traditional and somewhat more contemporary dance pieces. There were group and individual pieces from many eras (Chosun, Samkook) and areas such as south-western Korea, as well as fan, ji-jeon paper, sword and drum (Jango and Kyung-go) dances. The show stealer, however, was a little girl, probably about 5 years of age, who danced in a youth group to a piece entitled 'Spinning Tops' that "represents the innocence and purity of children's hearts" - the little girl was not only cute, but also extremely capable .

There were no sets or backdrops, but there didn't need to be - the costumes were so striking that they were all that was needed. Long, flowing silks in a rainbow of colours, some extremely traditional and others much more contemporary, they served as a lovely accent to what was happening on the stage.

Now, I regularly attend dance events, both classical and contemporary, and Korean dance certainly shares some elements of both, but it is also different in both the choreography and the characteristic light foot movements of the dancers.

It was a very beautiful evening - a cultural event I will long remember, and am thankful that I was invited to attend.

I started saving this list a couple of years ago, and then forgot about it. I found it again recently, so I thought I'd share. Some of the items on my old list are no longer up (Stupid Zippo Tricks is now lost and lamented), but all of these listed here still work.

• Oh my god! There's an axe in my head How to say 'Oh my god! There's an axe in my head.' in 112 languages. Includes Klingon. Claims to be "The Web's #1 Axe In My Head Page", which suggests that there are others.

• World's dullest blog Worth 10 minutes of anyone's time.

• Data Docktor'n with Dr. Nårton Hilarious site from Sweden dedicated to bogus 'tech support' tips, most concentrating on hardware fixes (ie how to cut computers in half to save space, etc). The fractured English only adds to the fun.

• Cement Computers How to fill a computer with cement to prevent it from being stolen. Includes photos and instructions.

• Alien Recipes How to Cook an Alien, includes diagrams and photos.

• Sport Eating The International Federation of Competitive Eating. Could you eat 50 hot dogs in 9 minutes? If not, why not? A skinny little Japanese girl can...

• The world-famous Stinky Meat Chronicles WARNING: Utterly Revolting. Do NOT look at this site anywhere near dinner time, or any other meal time, for that matter.

• The Google Mirror Where everything you'd find in Google shows in mirror image. This cracks me up for some reason (go figure). Tip: you have to enter your search entries in reverse, too. Type backwards!

Any other contributions you might have are welcome.

We are Scientists with The Grates - Concert Review By Lezah

Well, I did my usual and got Dave to buy tickets for a band I'd never heard before. I did this totally on the strength of something I read about We Are Scientists that said they were like XTC. Good enuff for me! But I did cave shortly thereafter and end up checking out their sound before we went down to the show.

What we didn't check out, though, was the address! The Red Room is the latest incarnation of a club that's been around for a while - I remember going there in the '80s when it had a long mirrored hallway. But then there were some shootings at the club and for some reason I never went back... Anyway, by the time we found the place, we had missed the first act.

It wasn't long before the next group came on - but for those who had been at the show for the first act, I got the impression that there was a fairly lengthy wait between sets, as the audience was starting to yell at the crew for taking so long. But for those of us who were late - well, the wait wasn't too long at all! Anyway, I could see a very energetic young woman leaping about off stage, and got the impression that she was up next - and I was right!

Patience fronts the Australian group The Grates, and she is who I had spied off stage. She is a very, very pretty girl who has an apparently boundless amount of energy. She spent the entire show pogoing, leaping, dancing, kicking, jumping and bouncing around the stage. She never slowed down, and she never stopped smiling. Many, many, many male members of the audience were smitten - cries of "I love you!" were ringing out with increasing regularity toward the end of the set, and when it was over, there was a throng of guys lined up with drinks bought just for Patience (at one point during the show she asked for a drink and voila! About ten miraculously appeared...). Patience has a great personal appeal - it's kind of a girl-next-door-discovers- she's-a-nymphomaniac sort of appeal, and what guy wouldn't love that? Their set was lots of fun, and the words 'joyful' and 'exuberant' are what immediately spring to mind when I think of The Grates. Musically, I was a little less impressed - Patience's voice was a little weak and the drumming was somewhat rudimentary - but hey, that's all part of their schtick. They've got a real DIY feel to them, and I think that helps in the popularity department. Back home,this band opened for my personal faves The Go! Team, they are currently touring North America with indie sensations We Are Scientists, and have a full calendar of shows lined up waiting for them when they get back to Australia. Certainly an act I'd recommend seeing live. Lots of fun.

We Are Scientists are the latest of that group of crazily popular post-punk groups to come out of New York. This Brooklyn trio erupted on the scene last year, and it all started at a South by Southwest show they did last spring when a BBC1 dj saw them and invited them to England - all before they even had an album out! Then three top ten singles followed, and the rest is history. The band are currently touring in support of their album 'With Love and Squalor' (name taken, I am assuming, from the Salinger short story 'To Esme, With Love and Squalor'); a series of sold out shows has been the norm across the continent, and Wednesday's Red Room show was no different. In fact, I could be wrong, but I do think that I spied Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat in the audience. But don't quote me on that.

One other thing I had heard prior to the show was that these guy were real comedians, and that certainly proved to be the case. They came on, played - but it was their banter, their baiting of one another, and their merciless teasing of a certain member of the audience, who will evermore remain in my memory as 'Leatherman', that really captured the crowd. They were bright, witty, self-effacing - and that was between songs. They weren't too bad when they performed, either.

From my perspective, if I had heard them two years ago, I would have loved them. In 2006, I merely liked them. There were a couple of songs that stood out, but for the most part they were all a bit too 'samey-samey' for me - each song sounded the same as the next, and they were all somewhat derivative. But, in spite of that, I enjoyed the show. There was good musicianship and great showmanship, and the interchanges between the band members and the audience were great. Overall, I'd give the show 7.5/10.

An Eye for Eyelet: By Christine

The very first outfit I sewed for myself was a two-piece, white cotton, eyelet patterned skirt and blouse set. It fit perfectly, with some custom placed ruffles in areas where I wasn’t as ‘endowed’ as my peers. I, and many borrowers, wore that outfit throughout the spring and summer until it was relegated to dust rag purgatory.

Imagine my surprise, and delight, at seeing the ‘big’ names such as Betsey Johnson, Marc Jacobs, and Juicy Couture showcasing the trend of the season - eyelet patterned outfits. However, this eyelet apparel has gone beyond the 1950’s white cotton demure, yet subtly provocative, designs. The eyelet material of today ranges from cotton to vinyl, with a vast array of colours to choose from. As well, the shape of the material has shifted from the simple dress or two piece set (as I had once chosen) to halters, wrap around skirts, shoes, dresses, tunics, swim wear, lingerie, overlays, wedding dresses, wraps, shorts and pants. The combination options are endless.

I’m sure we can all recall a ‘bandwagon’ trend that we’ve jumped on, and later looked back upon with extreme embarrassment (ahem... leg warmers?). Not so with an eyelet pattern ensemble. I am able to look back on pictures of my first sewn creation, and still admire its flirty, flowing and enhancing outline with appreciation. Eyelet patterned clothing is timeless and certainly worthy of more than one summery season.

By Mike Gillis

http://sneakinout.blogspot.co...

A Haiku

hungover at work

the only thing in my mind

the taste of bacon

By Mike Gillis

http://sneakinout.blogspot.co... Spring Fashion

I’d like to own a t-shirt with the word ‘Breakdancin'! written across the chest.

And below that, an image of Ted Danson being struck with a hammer.

That's very funny to me.

By Mike Gillis

http://sneakinout.blogspot.co...

Dark Side of the Goon

There is only one thing worse than getting stuck behind a very tall person at a rock concert, and that's getting stuck behind a very tall person who is dancing like a lunatic.

"gee..I'm already like 6'4", maybe if I toss my lanky as fuck arms in the air i can seem like 7'2" or something.

And I'll flail them around too!

Look at my fucking wingspan!

Ok...now I'm gonna sway violently from side to side.

Oh Yeah...now we're cooking. No one can see shit.

People love the taste of my elbows!

I am a monolith of social ignorance!"

Now I've been stuck behind some chumps at shows before, but this guy was something else. He wasn't even directly in front of me, he was like three people over and he was still fucking my view.

He was really losing it.

Snakes on a Plane losing it.

And the weirdest part?

When I managed to advance forward, out from the Dark Side of the Goon, looked back, just to see who this reprobate was.

And his face was a snarling mask of pain and hatred.

Llet me inform you that this was a Broken Social Scene show, NOT a Cradle of Filth show.)

What the fuck was his problem?

Why was he doing this?

Probably hopped up on Goofballs.

(And not the good kind of Goofballs. Angry Goofballs.)

Via Bloggerheads, The Times touches on the millennia of pharmacratic inquisition and the fabrication of diseases by drug companies to keep you sick and them rich:

Pharmaceutical companies are systematically creating diseases in order to sell more of their products, turning healthy people into patients and placing many at risk of harm, a special edition of a leading medical journal claims today.

The practice of "diseasemongering" by the drug industry is promoting non-existent illnesses or exaggerating minor ones for the sake of profits, according to a set of essays published by the open-access journal Public Library of Science Medicine.

http://emptybeach.typepad.com...

I heart Underdog by Rob Williams

My latest GLT cover story is out on newsstands. It's to coincide with an art showthat's opening tomorrow/ Saturday, April 8, called Beyond the Surface (it's all about looking beyond the surface... get it..?)

You can read how I was once madly in love with Underdog here

Also, last night went to that art show downtown--TNT --which was less than explosive (har har).

More interesting was the hole in the wall gallery--Voice 1156 Gallery--that my friend, Andrew, and I saw as we were driving around the block from TNT. We weren't "on the list" but because Andrew is a photographer he just dropped a few names (like of the guy who owns the space) and we got in. so there!

Cute, messy-haired hipster boys and go-go girls abound! (I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't in Williamsburg) the show featured this cool local/san diego collage artist whose work I've seen online-- Jason Sherry. He had this really great piece with a photo of a young Vincent Price and some distended colon. If I had had the money (and it didn't have the distended colon) I would have bought it. His stuff is pretty amazing.

<-- (from >an older piece of his titled "intergender")

I'm lately getting really into collage art (see it's catching!)-- sometimes I think to myself, "I could do that!" (and sell it for $4,500 as some of his pieces were tagged).  Maybe I missed my calling? I collect so much film memorabilia (from ebay)-- maybe I should experiment with it this summer. I already sort of did a collage-like thing with my picture of Patty Duke (Remember...?)

<-->Ah, yes. Patty Duke.

So tonight we were supposed to go to the UCSD MFA art show but it turns out it was last night! Argghh!

That's ok, I'll save my energy for tomorrow night, the Beyond the Surface show.

Tonight I just want to stay in, watch some television with Ted, and begin my Spring Break in style. Oh yeahhh, baby.

http://emptybeach.typepad.com...

SP(H)AM By Rob Williams

Got this in my email today. Spam from an online meat company (where you can special order hams, roasts, steaks, and seafood). When I clicked on 'unsubscribe' the webpage that came up asked me to click on the reason why I didn't want to continue getting their emails.  see below:

As a valued Uptown Primecustomer, we would like to keep you informed of important changes, new products or services, and special offers we believe may interest you. However, If you prefer not to receivethese emails, you may unsubscribe by clicking on the "Unsubscribe" button.

We are always trying to improve our customer experience. To that goal, we are concerned as to the reason for your unsubscription request (Please check all that apply):

•Frequency of email •No reason to send premium meats •Unsatisfied customer •Subscribe/Purchase from another meat provider •Other (tell us more)

Guess which one I checked?

http://antagonise.blogspot.co...

None of the Above: The Liars' Last Chance

There's a definite whiff in the air of something rather great and good for the residents of this country, all brewing hither and thitherin various parts of the UK blog world. Slowly but surely bloggers are starting to piece together the various bits of the puzzle about which they have been vociferously and angrily writing for a good long time, finally beginning to get some semblance of idea about the full and true nature of the picture from which each one of the individual fragments were cut.

The fragments are many. Here are a selection of the finest:.

The Civil Contingencies Act (formerly an interestingly numbered Bill);.

Rolling 'anti-terrorist' legislation and all its associated propaganda;.

Twenty percent of the world's CCTV coverage that, 9 months after the start of Ian Blair's 'largest criminal inquiry in English history' .

has failed to produce a single image of the alleged perpetrators - the 'photoshop four' - actually in London (oh, and - surprise, surprise - the video is a crock too);

28 (ho ho ho and everyone was all excited about 90) days detention, without charge or trial, or 10 years and counting of the same if your name happens to be Harry Maurice Roberts;

Nationwide Automatic Number Plate Recognition;

Executing innocent members of the public.

National Identification Cards, and Last but not least, the masterstroke - wait for it - the abolition of Parliament.

One might conclude that if the organs of State have themselves decided they no longer have any requirement for consort with Parliament, then it logically follows that neither do the other 60 million of us. In one fell swoop, by an Act of the State itself - even the illusion of Parliamentary Democracy, and its trappings, is finally removed. When this happens (even if it doesn't, the Civil Contingencies Act and various bits of 'anti-terrorist' legislation have all the bases covered anyway) the true nature of the beast is further exposed.

Meanwhile, life on Pirate Ship Britain continues, unbelievably in the face of all of the above, with some local elections scheduled for May 4th. As the date approaches various strategies are being discussed to ensure that the New Labour murder machine is stopped in its tracks.

Some of these discussions revolve around tactical voting to reduce the government's stranglehold. Of course, tactical voting brings with it the danger that the other tired old nag in the country's two-horse (show-boat) race that masquerades as the 'democracy' brown people the world over should envy as The State bombs them into submission, is given greater power than it already has.

Historically, that's how it has always worked. For far too long. And, by definition, the Conservatives are more right-wing than New Labour, even though anyone living under the Blair/Brown Big-Brother Private Power and Profit tyranny - itself perfectly in keeping with Mussolini's notion that Fascism should more correctly be labelled 'Corporatism', being as it was (oops) is the seamless merging of State and Corporate Power - would perhaps find the concept of 'more right wing than New Labour' almost unimaginable without some apocalyptic vision of a future Britain where The State was so afear'd of the people that it passed laws to criminalise everyone and their every activity. But then that's the country in which UK residents already live.

As well as tactical voting there are other options available and some of these are being discussed too. One of these options is Swank Home not voting at all, as espoused on Stumbling and Mumbling. The problem with this is that nobody counts those who don't submit a ballot paper and the lack of turnout at elections is generally smugly presupposed by the ruling classes to be some bizarre form of tacit mass-approval of their hideous actions.

Yet another option, justified rather well byJustin of Chicken Yoghurt, is the notion of spoiling your ballot and letting the powers that be know that not only are you not happy with any of them, but that you can actually be bothered to go down the road and deface one of their ballot papers to let them know it! Of the available voting options, this is by far the finest. As Justin says:

"Don’t vote Labour. Or anybody else. Tell them that until they listen to us, give us real democracy and reform their corrupt, evasive, unaccountable, money-grabbing, expense-exploiting, primus inter pares contempt for us, their paymasters and employers, we want none of them." Source: Chicken Yoghurt

There's even talk of coordinating the ballot-spoiling efforts around the country, just to really let them know we're all onto their little scam once and for all, standing united against them, with a rubber stamp which declares, 'None of the above'.

In reality though, you don't need an eleven quid rubber stamp to spoil their ballot papers, you can spoil them with the implements provided at your local polling booth - a ballot paper and a pen. This is all rather good news as recent anti-terrorist legislation is as likely to deem a rubber stamp an offensive weapon as it is the slogan 'None of the above' as being'information likely to be useful to a terrorist'. No, you don't need a rubber stamp, you can write, 'None of the above' on their ballot papers all by yourself or, alternatively, get a little inventive and let them have a unique message of your own. Or even both if you're feeling particularly enraged!

When it's all over, if the various combinations of tactical voting, not voting at all, and spoiling ballots doesn't have the desired effect, which it won't or this sort of thing wouldn't even be an option, the residents of Britain will know that they are left with just one solution, the only solution that is available to any inhabitants of any country when The State gets out of control.

Abraham Lincoln said what had to be said about America some time ago but his words seem to ring truer now, in and about Britain, right here and right now:

I bought a pair of handmade Italian shoes recently, almost by accident. I badly needed new shoes: my existing cheapo made-in-China shoes were worn and ragged, after only six months' use. No point buying those again: they perform okay for three months, and then disintegrate.

Ordinarily I don't much care about clothing, and have no discernible sense of style. But I do like to have good shoes. China seems to have captured about 80% of the shoe market (with inferior products), and good shoemakers are now hard to find here.

Plus, I've been trying to direct my limited consumer dollars towards items that are made in Canada. I no longer wish to buy cheapo products from countries with totalitarian governments and no labour laws. The best and easiest way to do that is to buy local.

What do I have to choose from around here? And how much is it going to cost? I accept that buying locally is probably going to cost more, but how much more? Let's find out.

First, I must define what I want, and then do research. This is how men usually shop: if the preparation (strategy) and planning (tactics) is done properly, the time spent in the store should be less than two minutes.

I do not want running shoes. Nor am I looking for $900 Gucci's. What I'm looking for is some ordinary black leather shoes that will look good and endure my sometimes punishing walking. In return, I agree not to wear them in foul weather (I have boots for that) and to keep them clean.

Okay, that's decided. Next, where to go?

The first local manufacturer that came to mind was Dayton. This company is a local institution, famous for its motorcycle boots sold to Hollywood stars. Their web site shows many of these, presented in a smoky airbrushed style, looking very posh and macho at the same time.

For those not interested in movie stars or macho boots, Dayton also makes and sells shoes. They look like very nice shoes indeed, but they cost $300 a pair, oh my. I was hoping for a post-Christmas sale over at the Dayton Shoe Company, but nope, no luck there. Maybe later, then, when I have some more money to spend.

There are a few other local shoemakers, are there not? Yes, there's John Fluevog who was famous in the 1980s for outrageously flamboyant designs best suited to glam rock stars. His designs are no longer glitter and platform soles, and their prices aren't bad. But I don't like the pointy toes (or the square ones, either), and most are no longer made locally. Their well-made web site assures us that only scrupulous manufacturers are contracted for Fluevog shoes, and I believe that.

Fluevog's site is worth a look, especially the entertaining Help section: I already knew what the capital of Uruguay was, but I didn't know who played vibes with Benny Goodman’s big band between 1936 and 1940...

Next there's the Ken Rice Shoe Studio on Granville Island (1406 Old Bridge Street, no web site), but they're well out my price range. There you can spend up to $700 just to get a model of your foot made, upon which the shoe is then built. I'll have to be rich before I go there.

Finally I wandered into Rino's Shoes, a mere six blocks from where I live. How could I have walked past this place so many times and not gone in? The signage in the window is pure retro: “Shoes For The Stars!” it reads, in script from 40 years ago. Along with fading autographed photos of singers you've never heard of, old football heroes, soccer players, wrestlers, and women who look like strippers. Maybe that's why I've never gone in: there's such a thing as too much retro. But once in, I found the old-fashioned shoemaker of my dreams. The rich smell of shoe leather meets you when you push open the door to Rino's shop, like a fresh wind from a forgotten land where old guys with nails and awls in their apron pockets still carve and stitch by hand. Here they still do. Rino's shoes has existed in Vancouver since 1959, and Signor Rino Orsato has been in the trade since he was nine years old back in Italy. As it says on their site:

Rino has made custom footwear for numerous celebrities including music legends Liberace, Little Richard, the Beach Boys, Bon Jovi, Steve Tyler, movie stars including Robin Williams, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sharon Stone, Angelina Joli, and wrestling greats Gene Kinisky and Andre the Giant. Many stage and screen productions have ordered footwear as well as a number of soccer teams and members of the Vancouver police force. Rino can build just about any kind of footwear - from the daintiest slipper to the most rugged boot. Let your imagination run wild!

Andrew Hoshkiw

I have no luck with hard-drives

The memory card I use with my digital camera is 4GB Hitachi Microdrive. It's essentially a little, 1-inch hard-drive.

   I ordinarily hold the Microdrives in high regard. It was a 2GB model that was in my d100 when the camera was brutally destroyed in a car accident nearly two years ago. After the crash, I found the memory card laying on the road 40 feet from the car. It had been hurled all that way, but when I went to use it again it was fine.

   I use the card as a means of moving data between computers. Today, while disconnecting it from the computer at the office, I got a big shock.

   Now at home, neither the computer nor the camera can read it. I can't seem to reformat it either, so I think it's fucked.

   I'll need to get a new card now. The question is what to get: either another of the the same forabout $200, or for $100 a 1GB Sandisk Extreme 3 card. In terms of capacity, the Microdrive is twice the bang for the buck, but the Sandisk saves data three times as fast and is probably more stable.    I'll probably just get whatever I can find locally tomorrow.    Anyhow, in other news, while Googling my own name yesterday, I found something rather disturbing.    It seems I'm listed as an "enemy" on nukeisrael.com, a westcoast white supremacy website.    The site also has my email address and calls me a "traitor."    What the fuck? I don't ever recall talking about that issue at all. I mean, I do think white supremacists are stupid and should be put away. I do believe in equality, that we're all born equal and should be treated equally on the basis of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation and all that. But why are they singling me out?    Should I file a complaint? And if so with who? This is America we're talking about. As long as it doesn't involve terrorism, there's no stopping freedom of speech in that nation, is there?

Britain's attempt to rival the importance of the Oscars has done well in recent years to bring glamour and fun to an event that can be a lot of stuffed shirts being terribly embarrassed to acknowledge how good they are. They seem to have the balance right now - glamour, yes, but a sense of dignity that is often lost on our American cousins.

Steven Fry returned for another year to bring wit, intelligence and no little naughtiness to the affair, and thank God. Some of his introductions are quite ingenious, diluting a lot of the dry over importance of the old school. Of course, the whole thing is still terribly British, but it is an award even the hardest of Hollywood stalwarts want to win these days (with the exception of absentee winner Reese Witherspoon, perhaps). It proved that Seymour Hoffman needed a bigger shelf, that Rachel Weisz's time had indeed come, that Thandie Newton was one to be watched at the Oscars and that Brokeback Mountain wasn't the only film out there. Despite that, I was delighted to see Jake Gyllenhaal pick up some kudos, and indeed Ang Lee, who gave a lovely speech thanking Britain for their support of his work over the years, citing The Ice Storm ( one of my all time favourites) as a film that everyone else but Bafta ignored.

Speech of the night though was left till the end when Lord David Puttnam, introduced by an increasingly doddery Lord Attenbrough, received the fellowship award... Having being retired from film production for almost a decade because of cynicism to the way the industry was going, he made a point of thanking George Clooney for proving him wrong - indeed who would have thought it, but many would agree! He then went on to make every single person in the house weep by recounting one of his favourite scenes in cinema history, surprisingly the last scene from The Sixth Sense, and related it to his dead father being proud of him. A deserved standing ovation for the man who brought us, among other things, Chariots of Fire, The Killing Fields and The Mission - deserved because it was a genuine moment from a genuine man with nothing to gain by showboating: wonderful. One of the best nights of backslapping in recent memory. Constantine

The problem with using a smaller shop to rent your DVDs from is that they often only have one copy of things. So to expect anything half decent to be left on a Saturday night is a bit naive. On this particular night comic book adaptation Constantine, starring the theatrically challenged Mr Reeves, was way way down my list, but was just about the only thing left I was remotely prepared to watch. I'd been stung before by thinking I'd give Keanu a chance, I mean the guy has iconic movie looks, just check out the above image, but boy does he struggle with depth and any other emotion than slightly pissed off. However, I may have underestimated the fact that this was fantasy approaching his biggest success (The Matrix) and as such would benefit from what he does best. I'd heard there was a lot of disgruntlement from the purists of the source material, Hellblazer, who demanded our [anti]hero be blond and British. Having not read it, I can't comment on that, but as a moody, chain-smoking, demon kicker Reeves is more than equal to the task, delivering a two dimensional performance of the very highest order! Of course it's silly, of course it's cheesy, but music video director Francis Lawrence creates enough mood and moment to lift it above several of its recent contemporaries, embellishing it with enough little touches to ensure we know that he knows it's a comic book thing.

So much could have been better, naturally, the effects were decent if not mind blowing, the settings were suitably dark and the performances were solid enough for this kind of fare. Rachel Weisz is always worth watching, especially as she seems to be approaching the pinnacle of her powers - I, certainly, have never fancied her more than as the confused yet feisty Angela (gettit?) and twin sister Isobel. There are some odd performances from Tilda Swinton and Peter Stormare as Gabriel and Satan respectively, perhaps pushing the boundaries of "colourful" a little too far, and a weird cameo from Shia LeBeouf as Constantine's taxi driving sidekick that is badly edited and therefore deemed completely superfluous. Altogether though, when the final joke of C forsaking his beloved smokes for a stick of gum arrives, there has been enough enjoyment to warrant a tentative recommendation...

So here it is: see it if everything else is out - 7/10

The Time Traveller's Wife

One of those gems that comes to you by unexpected means and never leaves your side. Upon finishing this wonderful novel I wrapped it up and gave it to my brother with the note, "No, it's not just for girls..." - a perhaps unnecessary embellishment, but a true one nevertheless.

The novel revolves around the conceit that a condition of chrono disease exists which makes those unfortunate enough to suffer by it susceptible to sudden displacements to times past and future, arriving as naked as The Terminator but more nauseous. Henry, the protagonist is one such time traveller, who meets his future wife on one such "trip", aged six, and returns to her in (for him) non sequential bouts as she grows up. When he then meets her in real time she is familiar with him but for Henry it is the first time they meet. Sounds complicated and it is - each chapter beginning with titles such as Henry aged 32, Clare aged 12, etc. But the exceptional writing of first time novelist Audrey Niffenegger never deliberately misleads us, always making the most of this boundless potential, whilst maintaining the simplicity and truth of the ultimate love story underneath it all.

The main characters are so beautifully attractive in their qualities and their faults that the ridiculous nature of many situations is easily forgiven as we yearn to explore the humanity of these people and those who come into contact with their strange reality. Mature, resonant and very touching, it affected me so much that upon finishing it I got out of bed and started writing myself... for about five hours! Some books you can't wait to finish and move on, some books you can't wait to start again. I think I'll wait a wee while, but it definitely falls into the latter group. Uplifting and heart-breaking in equal measures, a book that anyone who believes that "Time is Nothing" should read. 9.5/10

Kindled Spirits,

Arrived home yesterday from Australia, direct from the blazing sun to the chilly rain of the Pacific Northwest.  My tan is already peeling.  The festival ended almost two weeks ago, so I had some time afterwards to visit some rural high schools and perform in the outback.  I also had time to record new music with an Aussie hiphop crew.  Before the trip I searched "adelaide + hiphop" on the ever-popular Myspace website and found a group called "Mindfield", who are one of Adelaide's best new rap groups.  You can check them out at:

I got them some tickets to my show and then later we went for drinks and to talk shop.  I discovered pretty fast that social interactions in Australia are generally lubricated by a constant stream of Cooper's Pale Ale, and the first time I went to the Mindfield studio the session degenerated into a series of drunken freestyles, not the perfect conditions for making quality music. Nevertheless, they gave me some beats to write to, and over the final week of my stay I wrote and recorded rhymes for three of their unreleased tracks, the best of which makes this unusual collaboration its subject.  You can now listen to an exclusive sample of the unfinished song "Deps of the Mind" produced by B-Deps and featuring myself and Biz.   Click on this link to hear the Canadian/Aussie hiphop sound:

(If this link doesn't work you can also find it at the bottom of my "audio" page here:)

Overall the Australian experience was one of the best since starting this odyssey.  I encountered the Aussie hiphop scene and found it an amazing talent pool.  The Rap Canterbury Tales ran for three straight weeks at the fringe and appeared in seven different schools around South Australia, reaching well over two thousand people.  The ABC (the BBC or CBC of Australia) made a ten minute specialabout my show and the whole "lit-hop" concept, which ran nationally on their Sunday Arts program last weekend.

South Australia isn't know as "The Festival State" for nothing.  The second weekend of the fringe saw Australia's largest world music festival come to Adelaide, known as WOMAD, with thousands of people out in the sunny park dancing to Caribbean steel drum orchestras and African reggae bands. Canada was represented on the world music stage by Vancouver's own Scrap Arts Music, who played an amazing percussion set using cast-away materials from a steel yard, and got the Australian audience whipped into a cheering frenzy.  London's bhangra master Talvin Singhplayed an epic DJ set mixed with vocal tabla to end it all, and I got to talk to him later about my own attempts to fuse the ancient with the modern (couldn't get him to give me any beats though).

Circus Oz also came to the festival and set up their big-top tent in the park, and the show's main attraction was none other than virtuoso trapezista Ruby Rowat, who is an old family friend (her mother Nona is the doctor who delivered me). Ruby performed a breath-taking swing trapeze act, and her circus kin told me later that she is currently the second-ranked trapeze artist in the world.

Now I'm back in Vancouver for a few short weeks before I embark on my upcoming three month tour of the UK, including my first trip to Ireland for the Belfast Cathedral Arts Festival.  Besides preparing for this trip I now have to proofread and correct the galleys of my (355 page) book so that bound preview copies can go out to reviewers, which will be interesting.  I am also organizing my annual "Rap is Poetry" concert for Thursday, April13th, which will feature Josh Martinez, Emotionz, Ndidi Cascade and Manik Wonderful.  This will be the third year for the show, and I hope those of you in Vancouver can make it out (details TBA).   For more information click here:

There is also a video of the first Rap is Poetry available for download:

Thanks for staying with me as the story unfolds, and for all your supportive comments.  Until next time,

baba

Gentle Readers,

Greetings from Adelaide, where the festival will soon draw to a close.  Much has been happening here at the fringe, so much that I've been too busy living it to write it, so instead of trying to tell you about everything that has happened I want to just tell a story about one event, and then I'll recap some festival highlights later when I get a chance.

Shortly after I last wrote I saw a poster for a local freestyle battle, which was held at a club here in town about two weeks ago.  I presented myself at the door and asked if I could sign up, and was told there were sixteen rappers already pre-confirmed for the battle, but there was one no-show; however, six other local rappers had already expressed interest in the one open spot.  So the host held a qualifying battle on the patio between the seven of us, where he gave us each topics to rhyme about for one minute, then he matched us up in head to head battles.  This was a proper cypher with MCs and random people crowded around, no mics, and a single beat-boxer setting the rhythm, and I managed to serve them all even though I didn't know a single thing about them or the hiphop scene here in general. I actually used that single fact to put the last rapper down: "I don't know a thing about you / but lookin' at you I have reasons to doubt you / and I can tell already, this battle's gonna be dope without you."  And so it was.

In the main battle I got a chance to see some of the local talent in action before having to get on stage in the last heat, and I could tell Australian MCs were no joke.  I was put against a rapper called "Mastercraft," who had short dread-locks, which were an easy target, but this battle turned out to be less about appearance or background than about age.  He was probably around twenty or twenty one, and in his first rhyme he launched with "I don't know what I'm supposed to do / Battling this old dude / I'm just a kid, and he's like forty-two!"  After his first thirty-second rap, which was mostly ageist in content, he had the crowd (about two-hundred people), cheering and screaming and I had everything to prove and nothing to lose. So of course I had to come back on the same tip, with rhymes like: "Picture me in this freestyle cypher / Afraid to discipline a kid who's still in diapers" and "You're the worst rapper up in here / Would somebody please buy this under-aged kid a beer?" which got the crowd roaring for me, and when he went to come back with his second verse he couldn't get a single punch-line out, which meant he didn't get a single cheer.  Then in my second verse I started with "What's the point of even rhymin' now? / Damn, I've never heard such a silent crowd!" and finished with "I'm just tryin' to put it simple for y'all / I'm bringin' the info in for y'all / And spittin' it in this kid's face, pimples and all."

I wish this could be a Rocky/Rudy/Cinderella Man kind of story, but in the next round I lost to a rapper called "Prime" who was my age but wasn't as sharp as Mastercraft.  The best shot I got in was "I scorch this rapper with my rhyme boasts / And turn Prime into nothin' but prime roast."  I didn't choke or stutter or anything, but I just wasn't focused or hitting hard enough and he came through with some Canadian disses about ice hockey and the like that got the crowd going.  I stayed around and watched the rest of the battle and talked to a lot of the other rappers and hiphop people in there.  It was a young crowd all around, and the top prize ($500) was taken by a seventeen-year old called "Purpose" who was undefeated and virtually unchallenged all night.  I found out later that Mastercraft was tipped to make it through to the last round and was seen as a threat to Purpose before I surprised him and took him out.  I also discovered that Mastercraft had been in the UK a few years ago and had battled and defeated Jhest, which will mean something to anyone who knows about the UK hiphop scene.

Before I came to Australia the only artists I had heard of were the Hilltop Hoods, who were this country's rap pioneers, but I was happy to discover that Adelaide (home of the Hoods) is something of a hiphop mecca over here, with a thriving scene and some impressive local talent.  The outcome of the battle was not cash in hand for me, but I did get to make a mark on the scene and meet a number of impressive artists, connecting with some for possible collabos after the fringe ends.

It was also a reminder of why freestyle battling is such a rare and beautiful art-form.  This is something I discuss to some length in the general introduction to my book - a battle is an event that combines the verbal aesthetics of poetry, the improvisation of jazz, the entertainment value and spectacle of boxing, the fairness of sport, and the populism of democracy.  In a world that is filled with separations, prejudices and favoritism, hiphop culture and freestyle battling are a haven for equality. Where else can you say that it truly doesn't matter where you come from, how rich your parents were, what your race is, how old you are, what gender you are, what you've done in the past, what you look like, or anything else external to the event itself?  Any of these qualities can be used as ammunition, but anything that is said can be just as well answered.  All that matters in a battle is how well you perform with your words, and anyone can enter.  Let the best man, woman, or child win.

So much else has been happening over here that it's a shame to leave it at this, but I understand the limits of the email attention span (actually I can be a bit cavalier with those limits, mea culpa).  I perform my last show of the festival tomorrow, and then I have ten days of regional touring to schools before I head home.  I will write more when things quiet down a bit. For now, I'm heading back to the fray.  All good things, and may your battles be fairly won or lost,

baba

PS - I also got some video footage from the battle, which I will try to get